Translate

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Hostess Twinkies die before bankruptcy Thank you Unions for such great acuity

MOURNING THE EMPTY CALORIE DESSERT: More than a week ago, one morning I decided that along with long hours of study and prep for several papers, I would share my gratitude to the fine Union members who have ruined what I hoped would be a legacy of splitting open Twinkies, licking the innards clean of their cream then devouring the cake; to say nothing of Ding Dongs and chocolate Cupcakes that will forever be absent from the bribery system of millions of dads--Remember: "Dad is great, he feeds us chocolate cake," (Bill Cosby). (Never mind how long it takes them to decompose in the landfill--they do just fine in human digestion.) But now, not only can we appreciate the efforts of the Union for their personal sacrifice on behalf of the economy but for bolstering the entrepreneurial spirit that is selling their former product for multiple times their value when they were picketing. Good job, guys. May you enjoy dreams of fruit pies and powdered donuts while standing in line for your unemployment check and food stamps.

The good news is that Little Debbie is going to grow gangbusters now as the only empty calorie fix for the 50's, 60's and 70's generations.